30 Greatest Movie Characters

My top 30 movie characters of all time. I’m sure as soon as I post this I will remember someone that I forgot. There is no magic formula with how this was constructed. I watch a lot of movies. Some characters really resonate with me. These characters are multi-dimensional either because of the comedic timing or their dramatic flare. Either way, they pop off the screen and deserve to be recognized by this blogger.

30. Ed (Nick Frost) – Shaun of the Dead
Nick Frost makes this movie much more enjoyable (and funny) with his candid remarks in his English brogue. Give this movie a go if you’ve never seen it. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
“There's a girl in the garden.”


29. X (Donald Sutherland) – JFK
Odd choice, I know. But I can’t help it. I am totally glued to the screen when “X” is talking with Garrison on the park bench in JFK. There are many great scenes in this movie but Sutherland’s informant “X” is what sticks with me after all these years.
Many facts/characters were exaggerated or fictionalized for this movie. Add Sutherland’s character to the list. He was a concoction of Hollywood to further propel the story.
“We would have arrived days ahead, studied the route, checked all the buildings. Never would have allowed all those wide-open windows overlooking Dealy Plaza, never! We would have had our own snipers covering the area the minute a window went up! They would have been on the radio. We would have been watching the building, checking for baggage, coat under the arms... Never would have allowed a man to open an umbrella along the way! Never would have allowed the car to slow down to 11 miles an hour, much less take that unusual curve at Houston and Elm! You would have felt an army presence on the streets that day. But none of this happened. It was a violation of the most basic protection code we have, and it's an indication of a massive plot based in Dallas.”


28. Captain Koons (Christopher Walken) – Pulp Fiction
Of course Samuel L. Jackson is unforgettable, and John Travolta marked his comeback with the iconic role of Vincent Vega. Walken was only in one flashback scene in which he tells a young Bruce Willis about the story of “the watch.” The young Willis sitting with his legs crossed on the floor stares intently at Walken as the story unfolds. He is hanging on every word and description, as too am I. Walken stole the seen.
“. . . Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. . . . .”


27. Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) – Duck Soup
I just saw this movie on TCM recently. This was my introduction to the Marx Brother’s. Although I found some of the brothers to be down right creepy, Groucho’s clever one liners laced with sexual innuendo and unusual antics make Rufus T. Firefly a character ahead of his time.
“Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.”


26. Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) – The Sting
A suave and cunning Redford at his best. His banter with Paul Newman is classic. It’s a shame these two didn’t make more movies together. For my money it’s one of the great on screen duos.
“He cheats.”


25. Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) – Back to the Future trilogy
This is a screwball selection, but the more I thought about it the more I knew “Biff” had to make my list. He was great in all three movies. He was such a wonderful antagonist. I loved him in all varieties (present day, futuristic and old west). This can be categorized as my guilty pleasure pick.
“Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think! I gotta have time to get 'em retyped. Do you realize what would happen if I hand in my reports in your handwriting? I'll get fired. You wouldn't want that to happen, would ya? Would ya?”


24. Rev. Harry Powell (Robert Mitchum) – The Night of the Hunter
What a fantastically menacing character. Robert Mitchum takes this character from charming to evil to charming and back to evil. There are times when Mitchum is downright chilling. The L-O-V-E / H-A-T-E finger tattoos originate with Mitchum’s Powell.
“I can hear you whisperin' children, so I know you're down there. I can feel myself gettin' awful mad. I'm out of patience children. I'm coming to find you now.”


23. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) – The Naked Gun
I was about 12 when this movie came out. It was right in my wheel house. The jokes were corny, but not too corny. I’ve seen this movie 100 times and can’t get enough of Frank Drebin’s slapstick comedy. Leslie Nielsen would go on to play similar type characters in outrageously bad movies, but Frank Drebin was the original. A classic.
“Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that's *my* policy!”


22. Luke (Paul Newman) – Cool Hand Luke
Paul Newman has a high degree of watchability in just about every movie he’s in. He is great here. Possibly other than George Kennedy nobody likes Ol’ Luke more than me.
"I can eat fifty eggs."


21. Stumpy (Walter Brennan) – Rio Bravo
Watch this movie, wait 10 years and then tell me what you remember. The answer is Stumpy. Walter Brennan pulls off “slackjawed” like no one else. No one.
“Well, if'n ya don't come back, me 'n' Joe'll have us a good cry.”


20. Del Griffith (John Candy) – Planes, Trains and Automobiles
How can you love a character so much but be incredibly annoyed at them at the same time. That is the magic of John Candy. The comedic genius of Steve Martin and John Candy are on full display in this original road trip movie.
“There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.”
Oh, and “those aren’t pillows. . . . .”


19. Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) - Misery
What could be better than an over the top Kathy Bates playing the obsessive #1 fan to James Caan’s Paul Sheldon? As you’re watching you keep saying to yourself, “Don’t do that, don’t upset her!” If a character makes you squirm in your seat you know it was a great performance. This by far the jewel in Kathy Bates’ career.
“WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!”


18. Joker (Heath Ledger) – The Dark Knight
Of course Ledger’s Joker is completely unforgettable. Your eyes stay fixated to him every single scene. Definitely a nominee for the, “This guy stole the movie” award.
“Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?”


17. “Verbal” Kint (Kevin Spacey) – The Usual Suspects
Kevin Spacey keeps this movie incredibly intriguing as he sits in a police station and relays the story of the “usual suspects” and their unfortunate connection with Keyser Soze. The movie has one of the best endings that you never saw coming. Admit it. When you first saw it, you had no idea.
“Who is Keyser Soze? He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone.”


16. Frank the Tank (Will Ferrell) – Old School
Bottom line. I watch this movie to see all of Will Ferrell’s scenes. This movie goes from an A- to a C if you take Frank the Tank’s character out of the equation.
“You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by tonight. Okay, sweetie.”


15. Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis) – The Hangover
Do you think they realized while they were filming this movie that Galifianakis was comic gold? I love movies that have the re-watchability factor. I’ve seen this at least a dozen times and I can’t get enough of it. There are so many quotable lines here. Bearded Alan steels every seen that he is in. Please God, don’t let the Hangover 2 be a flaming turd.
“Okay, well, maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupt a casino, and he was a retard.”


14. Ben Sanderson (Nicolas Cage) – Leaving Las Vegas
Nicolas Cage is a complete train wreck. This could be one of the best performances ever. I mean ever. My body tenses up and fills with angst as I watch Cage knock this performance out of the park. Movies don’t get too much more dramatic than this.
“I came here to drink myself to death.”


13. Sgt. Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) – Full Metal Jacket
Shrill. Blunt. In your face. Over the top. Somehow, considering the time, I bet there is a lot of truth to this character. If you’ve seen this movie, R. Lee Ermey’s portrayal of the drill sergeant will be etched in your brain forever. Not only does he steal the scenes he’s in, he steals the movie.
“Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!”


12. Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) – Dumb & Dumber
Pound for pound, scene for scene this is one of the funniest characters I’ve seen. The comedy is shallow and inane, but it totally works. We’ve seen Jim Carrey’s goofball antics countless times, but he is at his comedic best in Dumb and Dumber.
“We got no food, no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"


11. Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) – Goodfellas
Good in Raging Bull. Great in Casino. Classic in Goodfellas. You watch Goodfellas to watch Joe Pesci. Period. Because he makes you laugh. . . . . he’s like a clown to you. . . he amuses you. Do you want to feel aged? This movie is 21 years old.
“What do you mean I'm funny?”


10. Col. Nathan R. Jessep (Jack Nicholson) – A Few Good Men
He’s not on screen much, but when he is you can’t take your eyes off of him. Very few have commanded your attention on screen like Col. Nathan Jessep. A Few Good Men is on every weekend on some station. You know you watch it just to see Nicholson.
“I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge, and make me nervous.”


9. Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) – No Country for Old Men
Anton Chigurh is such a refreshing change from your normal Hollywood villain. Silent. Menacing. The most unusual killing weapon you’ve ever seen. There are so many unknowns to Chigurh. That’s what makes him so incredibly captivating.
“You need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair.”


8. Igor (Marty Feldman) – Young Frankenstein
It’s pronounced (eye-gor). Quite possibly the most unique character on the list. If you’ve never seen this movie, SEE THIS MOVIE. It is Mel Brooke’s at his finest. Yes, it’s better than Blazing Saddles. The “Puttin on the Ritz” song and dance routine is one of the ten funniest scenes in movie history.
“I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is.”


7. Captain Spalding (Sid Haig) – The Devil’s Rejects
My brother says that if Shakespeare did horror and mayhem this would be it. This is a very, VERY troubling movie. It is not for the faint of heart. Once you get past the horror and inhumanity you’re watching on the screen you can’t help but to empathize with these characters. Dare I say you start to root for these characters? Captain Spalding’s ability to insight terror and comedy instantaneously is what makes him so special.
“Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family.”


6. Bill Munny (Clint Eastwood) – Unforgiven
No flash. No pizzazz. No extended action. The movie trots right along on Eastwood’s brittle shoulders. I will watch all two hours and eleven minutes of this movie just to hear Eastwood profess at the end:
“You better bury Ned right!... Better not cut up, nor otherwise harm no whores... or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons of bitches.”


5. Blake (Alec Baldwin) – Glengarry Glen Ross
Quite possibly the best cast put together in one film. And EVERYONE nails their roles. There is absolutely no action or frills to this movie. It is 100% dialogue driven. Alec Baldwin’s Blake is only in the movie one scene. To say he steals the scene is an understatement. Without question this is Baldwin at his best. He earns his chops in this scene giving a speech to a handful of salesmen that don’t really want to hear what he has to say. Even with Pacino, Lemon, Arkin, Harris and Spacey in the room you know that Baldwin is the Alpha male.
“That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave. . . . .”


4. Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp) – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Short of Eraserhead this is quite possibly the zaniest movie you will ever see. Based on Hunter S. Thompson’s psychedelic journey to Las Vegas, Depp’s performance is an utter delight. The drug use in the movie is mind blowing. The dialogue between Duke and Dr. Gonzo is startling, scary and funny all at once. Make sure you watch this movie with the subtitles ON. You will miss much if you don’t.
“No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.”


3. The Dude (Jeff Bridges) – The Big Lebowski
The Dude abides. This movie flows like water from a faucet. Bridges is flawless in his apathy. I want to drink White Russians and bowl with the Dude. I want to cheer him on as he goes head to head with Jesus.
“I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.”


2. “Sonny” The Apostle E. F. (Robert DuVall) – The Apostle
DuValls’s “Sonny” is most likely higher on my list than anyone else’s. I love Robert DuVall. He commands your attention. Quite simply he pops off the screen the whole movie. DuVall’s persuasion and likeability are at an all time high. I don’t see anyone else taking this role and shaping it the way DuVall did. By the end of the movie you want to join the revival and chant Jesus’ name right along with the Apostle E. F.
“I'd rather die today and go to heaven than live to be a hundred and go to hell.”


1. Marv (Mickey Rourke) – Sin City
My favorite character in a movie loaded with quotable, intriguing characters. Marv is hell bent on getting justice for avenging the death of a beautiful “lady of the night,” Goldie. The imagery and action sequences are like no other movie. Marv is the bona fide man. Case closed.
“I'll stare the bastard in the face as he screams to God, and I'll laugh harder when he whimpers like a baby. And when his eyes go dead, the hell I send him to will seem like heaven after what I've done to him.”

“I'm on my feet for about ten minutes before the cops kick them out from under me. They don't ask me any questions. They just keep knocking the crap out of me and waving a confession in my face. And I keep spitting blood all over it and laughing at how many fresh copies they come up with. Then along comes this worm assistant district attorney who turns the recorder off and says if I don't sign their confession, they'll kill my mom. I break his arm in three places and I sign it.”

“What if I'm wrong? I've got a condition. I get confused sometimes. What if I've imagined all this? What if I've finally turned into what they've always said I would turn into? A maniac. A psycho killer.”

[After being electrocuted in the electric chair] “Is that the best you can do, you pansies?”

20 thoughts on Wild Card weekend

Here are my random thoughts from Wild Card weekend.


1. Marshawn Lynch, you will never have a run like that in your career again. That was beyond incredible.

2. So the winner of the Seahawks/Bears game goes to the NFC Championship. I like it.

3. If the Seahawks and Packers both win (don’t laugh) Seattle will host the NFC Championship game. I love it!

4. Matt Hasselbeck out “Breesed” Drew Breese.

5. Julius Jones – hang on to the ball.

6. Notre Dame alum accounted for 4 touchdowns in the Seahawks/Saints game.

7. Tomlinson and Greene combined for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns. Great job.

8. Mark Sanchez’s QB rating was 62.4 for the game. Mark Sanchez, can you please look impressive in a win so I can get on board with the Jets?

9. If I told you that the Colts wouldn’t turn the ball over, Manning would have a QB rating over 108 and as a team they would rush for 93 yards would you think the Colts would have won? Me too.

10. Colts – three second half field goals and no touchdowns just isn’t getting the job done.

11. Someone put an APB out for the Chiefs. They were last seen on December 26th dismantling the Titans.

12. In my fantasy league Matt Cassel would have scored -1 point in the game. Pathetic! I was just starting to drink the Matt Cassel Kool-Aid.

13. I love, LOVE Jamaal Charles. He’s my early candidate to win the rushing title in 2011.

14. Time of possession – Ravens (41:44), Chiefs (18:16). Wow!

15. Rumor has it that someone broke into Dwayne Bowe’s house and held him captive all weekend. That explains why you didn’t see him on Sunday.

16. You mean to tell me that Aaron Rodgers threw 3 touchdown passes to guys NOT named Jennings, Driver, Kuhn or Nelson. Incredible.

17. Everybody still think Michael Vick is going to take over the world?

18. The only Eagle that truly came to play was. . . . . . . Jason Avant (7-93 1 TD)?

19. James Starks – if you go over 100 yards next week I will believe in you.

20. Somebody talk David Akers down from the ledge, please.

2011 NFL Wild Card Picks

All lines come from Danny Sheridan from the USA Today as of 1/6/11. Home team in CAPS.


Saints (-10 ½) vs. SEAHAWKS

Home field advantage in Seattle will be underestimated. The crowd will be all hopped up on false hope and Starbucks. When you’re 7-9 and in the playoffs you know you’re playing with the house’s money. The Super Bowl Champs are going into the game sans Pierre Thomas and Chris Ivory. That leaves the brittle Reggie Bush, an underachieving Julius Jones and two practice squad scrubs carrying the New Orleans rushing load. Can the Saints make it through the playoffs with a questionable running game and Brees chucking the ball 40 plus times? Maybe. Should they have any problem eliminating the Seahawks? Probably not.

This would be the biggest update in NFL playoff history if the Seahawks win, right? I’m not a Pete Carroll fan but I’d love to hear his pre-game speech.

Impact player for SAINTS: Jimmy Graham
Impact player for SEAHAWKS: The 12th Man

PICK: SAINTS (-10 ½) (But a little closer that what is expected)




COLTS (-3) vs. Jets

Mark Sanchez needs to play like he did at the beginning of the year. The Jets must be successful running the football. If they get into third and long situations Freeney, Mathis and company will be looking to unload on #6. This is when mistakes happen. If the Jets can get above average games out of Tomlinson and Greene they can thrive.

Quick, how many rushing touchdowns did Greene and Tomlinson score this year? 8
How many 100 yard rushing games did they combine for? 2

If the game is put onto the shoulders of Mark Sanchez the Jets are in trouble. Oh, did I mention the Colts have Peyton Manning?

How can one Manning ooze so much confidence and the other always looks like he got his pants pulled around his ankles in front of 80,000 people? How did this guy win a Super Bowl? You say because of David Tyree. Nonsense. I say because of Patrick Crayton. Cowboy fans will remember that dropped pass in the Wild Card game. The Giants should have never found their way out of Dallas.

What if the Colts had a healthy Dallas Clark, Austin Collie and Bob Sanders? Who do you pick if they’d make it to New England? I don’t know either. . . . .Someone auto play this game on Madden and let me know the results.

This game will be close for a while, but I see the Colts winning and covering.

Impact player for COLTS: Pierre Garcon
Impact player for JETS: D’Brickashaw Ferguson

PICK: COLTS (-3)




Ravens (-3) vs. CHIEFS

Hmmmm. Why do I think the Chiefs are going to win this game (or at least cover)? They looked horrible in their finale. Their offensive coordinator (Charlie Weis) might mentally be in Gainesville already. They are playing a balanced and experienced team. The Ravens have only allowed 5 rushing touchdowns on the year and are relinquishing a paltry 3.9 yards per rush. All signs seem to be point to Baltimore. Not so fast. . . .

The Chiefs led the NFL in rushing yards. They have a quarterback that can manage the game and play mistake free. Although their defense isn’t great, it does still rank #14 in the league. Upset! Upset! The Chiefs win and will be the talk of the NFL. . . for at least a week.

By the way, if I was the offensive coordinator for the Ravens I would get Ray Rice 8 to 10 catches a game. He currently averages 3.9 catches a game. Not bad, but it could be sooooo much better.

Oh, yeah. Arrowhead baby!

Impact player for RAVENS: Haloti Ngata
Impact player for CHIEFS: Jamaal Charles

PICK: CHIEFS (+3)




EAGLES (-2 ½) vs. Packers

Both teams are putting up over 24 points a game. The over/under on the game is 46. I say, take the over and count your Hamilton’s all the way to the bank.

I’m excited to watch this game. I expect Rodgers and Vick will be as advertised. It’ll be a contest to see who makes the first mistake. I’m tired of DeSean Jackson’s showboat antics. We need someone to chase him down the field and knock the ball out of his hands while he is Jitterbugging into the end zone. Don Beebe, anyone? (Leon Lett nods)

It’s the Packer’s time. No running back? No tight end? No problem. After the 2011 playoffs I look for Rodgers to be mentioned along side Brady, Brees and Manning as the best.

Have you ever heard 67,594 people collectively gasp for a breath at the same time? Wait until Vick goes down. I can feel it coming. Then it will be up to the Jekyll and Hyde performance of Kevin Kolb.

FYI – Vick is going to be fantasy gold next year. How can I get the #1 pick? I’m thinking about trading the naming rights of my second child, but with my brainwashed friends I know I’d be stuck with Brutus Dumas. Ouch.

Cheer up Philly, you have one of the best pitching rotations in recent memory. Good things are coming your way.


Impact player for EAGLES: Vick, Vick, Vick
Impact player for PACKERS: Clay Matthews

PICK: PACKERS (+2 ½)




My son is 1 month old today. I get the feeling when all is said and done and I’m lying on my deathbed reflecting on my life I will revert back to the times I was feeding him in my arms. He would just look up at me and stare into my eyes as he prolifically sucked on the nipple. I would look down and do the same. I wonder what he’s thinking about. Does he recognize me? What will he look like as he gets older? Will he be left handed? Will he be able to throw (and hit) a curve ball? Our eyes are locked and everything else around us is white noise. This is the time the will serve as the crown jewel in my life.

. . . . unless Notre Dame can ever win the national title again.