NFL All NAME Team

You can keep your “All-Pro” team or your “All-Madden” team. I have a better one. It’s the “All Name” team.

What are the requirements for making this prestigious team? Simple. Have a name that is goofy, ridiculously awful or just rolls off the tongue like candy saturated spit.

All names were derived from rosters taken from the ESPN.com web site.

OFFENSE

QB – Tyler Thigpen (Dolphins)

RB – Jehuu Caulcrick (Bills)
RB – Kregg Lumpkin (Bucs)

FB – Fui Vakapuna (Bengals)

WR – Duke Calhoun (Giants)
WR – Legedu Naanee (Chargers)
WR – Jerricho Cotchery (Jets)

TE – Bear Pascoe (Giants)
TE – Fendi Onobun (Rams)

C – Tanner Purdum (Jets)

G – Zane Beadles (Broncos)
G – Deuce Lutui (Cardinals)

T – Guy Whimper (Jaguars)
T – King Dunlap (Eagles)
T – Jermon Bushrod (Saints)


DEFENSE

DE – Frostee Rucker (Bengals)
DE – Ziggy Hood (Steelers)

DT – Domata Peko (Bengals)
DT – Ko Quaye (Browns)
DT – Leger Douzable (Jaguars)

LB – Xavier Adibi (Texans)
LB – Slade Norris (Jaguars)
LB – Brady Poppinga (Packers)
LB – Coy Wire (Falcons)

CB – Cassius Vaughn (Broncos)
CB – Macho Harris (Redskins)
CB – Captain Munnerlyn (Panthers)

S – Tuff Harris (Steelers)
S – Atari Bigby (Packers)

SPECIAL TEAMS

K – Olindo Mare (Seahawks)

P – Sav Rocca (Eagles)



There you have it.

The offensive tackles are by far my favorite group.

What positions had the most names to consider?

LB – 23
DT – 14
WR – 13

What position has the most ordinary (lamest) names? QB, and even Tyler Thigpen isn’t that great.

So, what is to be learned from all of this?

I need to open up the playbook a little bit on the naming of my future sons. I will open up the medicine cabinet and reach for the stars.

DayQuil Dumas – There is a future linebacker in the NFL.

Anacin Dumas – He’s catching 97 passes and making the Pro-bowl.

Coricidin Dumas – A run stopping beast that plugs up the middle of the D-line.